A post on Batman... and heroes and villains... and CHOICE!!

Almost exactly four years ago I watched a movie that completely messed with my head.

Don't get me wrong, The Dark Knight was incredibly well done. It was fast-paced and deep and thrilling; there was lots to rave about. But nothing could have prepared me for the utter twistedness of the Joker. And the story of Harvey Dent was equally as disturbing to me. Dent was, in fact, the personification of a deep-seated fear of mine- the fear that one day something terrible might happen to me that I wouldn't be able to cope with, and that I'd end up becoming a bad person as a result. (I wrote a lengthy post about this whole thing a few days after it happened, if you want to read it, it's over here: http://www.facebook.com/notes/mary-powell-walz/batman-motorcycles-and-fear/26177087201).

Fast forward four years. I've seen The Dark Knight Rises twice now, and love the movie to death.  And so last night, I decided it would be good to revisit The Dark Knight as I felt like there were pieces of the story missing in my memory. So after work I sat down and watched it.

And it was interesting to see how my perspective has changed in four years.

The Joker was as cringe-worthy as ever. I was still creeped out by him. But I found myself looking at Dent's story in the context of the movie, of the series, and coming to some very different conclusions. "You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain," Dent said at one point in the movie, and this was my fear summed up. This time around though, I realized something.

Dent was wrong.

Because yes, he did become the villain. The Joker messed with him, and he cracked and turned evil. But there were so many others in the story who did not. The passengers on the two ferries that The Joker was going to blow up. Rachel Dawes. Jim Gordon. And, of course, Bruce Wayne.

When Rachel died, Bruce and Harvey both lost someone they loved. The Joker messed with both men equally, it seems, and one chose to become part of the problem, the other to become part of the solution. Bruce chose to keep fighting against evil, and, as Batman, to sacrifice his own reputation for the cause. He could have become like Dent, but he chose the higher road.

 

It all comes down to a choice. 

When you stop and think about it, movie heroes and villains are often quite similar. Both sets of people are usually quite passionate, have a strong sense of justice, and some definite goals. Both also tend to be wounded. If you stop and think about it, most heroes have something broken in their past that has pushed them towards heroism... just as most villains have something tragic in their past that has pushed them towards villainy. One group takes their anger and pain and allows it to consume them, to make them evil, the other allows their anger and pain to push them towards stopping evil.

It's all very interesting. And I find myself thinking about how all this might be relevant in our own lives.

Last week I wrote a post about how this world contains both beauty and brokenness, and how difficult it can be to live in such a world. And I'm not about to claim that I've figured it out within a week (though some of you left some good comments on my post). But I have realized this:

Every day, we can choose to be agents of beauty or agents of brokenness. We can be part of the problem or part of the solution, we can take one step closer towards heroism or villainy.

 

It's our choice. 

Sometimes choosing rightly is easier said than done. There are forces in our lives that would cause us to want to choose wrongly- past experiences, flawed mindsets, emotional issues, addictions- and these forces can be strong. And so we must give ourselves- and others- lots of grace. We will screw up, but we can learn. And we must also remember that we have the power and grace of One far stronger than us backing us up, that we are never alone in our pain. Sometimes choosing rightly must begin something seemingly insignificant- a feeble prayer for strength, a decision to get help, a confession that we have a problem.

But we always have the choice to take a step towards heroism, no matter how small that step may be.

The fact that God has given us the ability to choose this is both terrifying and liberating. Yes, there is the fear that we might choose wrongly. And yet, it is freeing to know that I can choose not to become like Harvey Dent, no matter what life throws at me. The Joker says that madness is one small push away, but he does not have the final word. Today, probably many times over, I can choose light over darkness, I can choose to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem.

I pray that God would grant me- and all of us- the grace, strength, and courage to choose well.

Living in this Dark and Beautiful World

Sometimes life's happenings make me wax philosophical.

This time around, it was a combination of several things, one being something very large (that is, the shooting in Aurora), and another being something fairly small (having my computer get a terrible virus, almost getting scammed in the process, and having to reinstall everything!), as well as some others which I will not get into.  Regardless of how it happened, today I find myself trying to figure out just how one is supposed to live in this world.

When I look around, it is easy to see so much pain, so much darkness. I think of the shooting. I think of the girl in my youth group who just lost her mom to cancer. I think of the family I know whose relative was the victim of an absolutely horrific crime, and of the person I know who has committed a crime that I have yet to be able to wrap my mind around. I think of the friend of mine whose marriage is on the rocks, and of the loved one who has been injured in a way that makes normal existence difficult. I think of several friends of mine who have survived abusive situations, both in childhood and marriage. I see pain.

and yet...

And yet every day I see beauty. I see sunrises and thunderstorms. I hear laughter and engage in ridiculous, fun conversations on facebook and eat incredible food. I see God working in and through the pain of the people I love. I hear epic stories and listen to music that makes me want to burst and watch movies that inspire me. I spend an evening with the man I love or an afternoon drinking tea with a friend. I feel... love. Loved.

There is great darkness in the world... and yet, also, great beauty.

My faith helps me understand this paradox to some degree. If I am to look at this life as, as John Eldredge puts it, a "batlle for the heart", with both God and the devil working through events to either draw us to God or push us away from him, then these things make some sense. I find comfort in believing that there is a grand scheme, a greater story.

And yet I still struggle with knowing how to live in such a world. Be as wise as serpents and innocent as doves, Jesus once said. But what does that look like? Children are wild and free and fearless and fierce, and this is beautiful and I want to be these things. And yet, most children are this way because of their naivete.

How can one be soft in a world that loves to remind you, over and over, just how cruel it can be? And how can one be hardened in a world brimming with beauty and life?

How does one trust others when humanity can be so dark? Or should one trust them at all? Is it best to live in cynicism, believing that everyone is out to get us, and thus never truly letting people close? Or should we instead let everyone in, and thus open ourselves up to heartache and betrayal, over and over?

How does one stay open to the glorious beauty of this life while also acknowledging its deep, dark pain?

Thoughts, anyone?

Things I am learning (in no particular order)

The best gift you can give a loved one is to let them be themselves, to stop trying to mould them into your image of what you think a friend, spouse, sibling, etc should be.

Life can be busy. Sometimes we don’t have time to stop and smell the roses. So when you do find yourself in possession of some free time, be intentional about slowing down.

Everything is ten times better when you’re listening to good music. Especially the instrumental stuff.

I crave freedom desperately. But I don’t think I fully understand what freedom is.

There’s a time to be fully present and aware of everything around you, and there’s a time to dream and create and write and philosophize, to become so wrapped up in your thoughts that you forget the present. Both are good, in their proper place.

Take care of your heart.

Enjoy life and don’t take things for granted. Everything can change in a second.

Take time to wander. It’s good for you

When dealing with pain and difficulty in life, you need a combination of both softness and toughness. You need to be soft enough to let yourself grieve, to ask for help when needed, to allow yourself to still love people and enjoy life throughout it. But you need to be tough enough to accept the fact that life sucks sometimes, to believe that your pain may make you stronger in the end, and to keep yourself from falling into despair.

The ocean is absolutely amazing and I am privileged to live close to it.

Give thanks.

Risk taking and adventure are good. Travel, go bungy jumping, climb mountains, and make new friends. But understand that none of these things will make you permanently happy.

Accomplishing things is good. But there’s a time to rest as well. You don’t have to ALWAYS be productive.

The world is full of magic and wonder and beauty. But you have to keep your eyes open for it.

Heroes and villains both wears masks, thus it’s easy to forget their humanity. When we cast someone in our minds as a hero or a villain, we dehumanize them, making them incapable of either evil or good. In reality, humans are all both good and evil, beautiful and broken. Don’t expect anything else from people.

A good children’s fantasy novel is good for the soul. Narnia does it for me.

Sometimes knowing when to give up and say “that’s enough, I need a break” takes more strength than pressing on.

If you have it in your head that you have to be in control to be happy, you’ll spend your life miserable. You can control some things, but not all. You could die at any second. Best to accept this.

When it comes to emotional healing, we want quick fixes. We want to say, “I had problem_____, and then I (got prayer, went to counselling, etc) and now I’m great.” But it doesn’t usually work that way. Emotional wounds, like their physical counterparts, take time to heal. And that’s okay.

Life is not an equation to be solved. It’s a dance, a symphony, a work of art. Treat it as such.