There's a bit of a story behind how I've gotten here, a story involving a month of weird work schedules, resulting anxiety, and hurting my back at work (which forced me to take a few days off). But I've come to the conclusion that worrying is a big issue for me. So I've decided to take the month of February to try to take Jesus' words about "not worrying about tomorrow" a little more literally than I normally do.
This encompasses three things for me. First, I am going to try not to worry and obsess about future things that may or may not happen- whether or not I'll get enough shifts at work, whether people will like me or approve of what I do, etc. Of course I'm going to screw this up- worrying comes naturally to me- but I think it would be good to at least be aware of when I'm worrying and what I'm worrying about. So many of the things we worry about never happen- and even if they do, we always get by. Life goes on. God keeps working in and through our situations. Of course this doesn't mean not planning for the future, but simply not getting all worked up over it.
Second, I'm going to take some time off wondering where my life is headed (a habit of mine since I left youth ministry). Of course it is good to dream, to have goals and direction, etc. But I think sometimes we fixate on our dreams and goals to the point where we can't enjoy the moment. We let our plans and hopes rob us of the present. And so I'm not going to worry about where my life is going or where I'll be in a year, or five years. Truth is, no matter how much I plan, things probably won't go how I expect anyways. So I'm going to let go of my expectations for myself and my life.
Third, I'm going to be more intentional about living in the moment and enjoying it. I'm going to try to stop and smell the flowers, so to speak. I'm going to believe that today is important, and that I won't get it back, thus I'm going to try to enjoy it and be thankful for the small gifts.
Of course I'm going to screw this up. But that's okay too! Pray for me, will you?
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."- Jesus
